Today, I had lots of time to myself. Me, my Self and the trombone. I am a very diligent practicer of basic routines and exercises. But, after an early warmup routine and rehearsal today, I went home and felt like, playing... playing what was in me. Unrushed, unscheduled, unroutined... playing simple, little melodies like: Bb, Ab, Gb, Db and Eb, slowly, at first, feeling and listening to what was inside the resonance. My feeling became the resonance of the sound. Then I thought if I had to do this in front of people, the environment and my state of mind wouldn't be what it is now. That's the problem, sometimes, in "performing." That's why I believe it helps to tune the audience so they become a supportive acoustic or supportive environment, so the connection can be made easier and deeper.
Spending time... building a close relationship with the process of playing. Not just focusing on results - "Is it good?" "Is it bad?" - just being with what is... you, the music, the moment, a moment in eternity.